The next few paragraphs are from NFDA, the National Funeral Directors’ Association. I hope this will be helpful information.

Healing A Grieving Heart

Losing a loved one is a heart-wrenching experience. The powerful, complex, and conflicting emotions that survivors struggle with often leave a person feeling alone and helpless. Understanding the basic elements of grief and learning key coping skills can help individuals heal and move forward after their loss.

There is no correct way to face the loss of a loved one. However, there are some emotions that are commonly experienced while grieving. These feelings include disbelief, shock, numbness, denial, sadness, anxiety, guilt, depression, loneliness and frustration. It can even include anger directed at the person who died, other family members, medical staff, or toward religious convictions.

Often grief manifests itself in physical symptoms such as tightness in the chest or throat, chest pains, panic attacks, dizziness or trembling, and disturbed sleep patterns. During the healing process, crying is healthy because it is an emotional and physical release.

It is also perfectly normal for a person to feel like they are going “crazy.” Everyday tasks can become difficult or demanding. Suddenly driving a car, paying bills, or shopping for groceries can feel overwhelming. A good rule of thumb during this period is not to overexert yourself. Carry a small notebook and record things that need remembering. Alert your boss and coworkers that you may not be operating at maximum efficiency. Ask friends and family for support. Above all else, be patient with yourself.

How long grief lasts is different for everyone. However, many experts agree that the grieving process is complete when you are able to think of the deceased without pain. This doesn’t imply that you won’t still miss that person, it only means that your sadness will be different, gentler, less wrenching.

There are sources to help you work through your grief. Your local National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) member funeral director is an excellent resource during this painful time. Your NFDA funeral director will listen to your concerns, explain how others have approached their grief, and give you any recommendation he or she can to help you.

Here are some additional ways to cope with the pain from a loss:

• Seek out supportive people
• Join a support group
• Take care of your health
• Find outside help when necessary

More information on healing after the loss of a loved one is available through your local NFDA member funeral home, or by visiting NFDA’s Website at www.nfda.org.

NFDA funeral homes around the country are participating in a national consumer education campaign, For A Life Worth Celebrating, in an effort to help consumers make wise and informed decisions related to funeral service.

There are many reasons why we grieve. When we experience a loss, it is natural to grieve, which is part of the healing process. At Fairhaven, we have a support group, which allows the participants to discuss some of the ways they have traveled through their journey of life after the loss of a loved one. What seems to be the most helpful for our group, is to talk with someone else who has experienced a loss and share feelings. At every meeting, the participants have a new suggestion for ways to help with the feelings they are experiencing.

To some of us, the loss of a pet can difficult to overcome. When my dog died at the age of 16 a few years ago, I could have used some advice. Even though I work in a funeral home, we do not provide services for pets. The following is a suggestion that was provided by Chuck Roberts, an old friend from Crawfordsville, Indiana, for those who have lost a pet and need a suggestion for beginning the grieving process.

• Buy Ice cream on your way home.
• An appropriate spot is chosen for the resting place.
• Everybody helps dig the hole. This part of the healing process and everybody needs to participate.
• Everybody examines the old pictures and makes copies of their favorite pictures of the loved one. A scanner/printer is useful so you don’t loose the original.
• The loved one’s favorite toys are examined. Everybody helps select toys that the loved one would want to take with them.
• Grave side. The loved one is place in the hole with their favorite toys (see #5), the copied photos are passed around and everybody tells an anecdote about the loved one. The photos are place in a seal-able container and interned with the loved one.
• A good cry is had by all, assuming you haven’t already. Hugs for everybody.
• Go eat the ice cream that you bought in #1. No diets today, everybody has some.
• It still hurts, but the healing has begun.

Thank you Chuck for your input.