Sometimes, our families can be the worst offenders of our feelings when we have experienced a death. Maybe they have said things like; “Isn’t it time to move on?” or “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” These words can be very hurtful. However, I wonder if there are some underlying reasons that bring about these comments.  It may be helpful to let your family know your feelings about some of the things they say and to discuss and understand the reasons for those comments.

Some of the reasons could be 1) They are suffering with their own grief and not willing to address it; 2) They think that they are helping you by telling you it is time to “move on”; 3) They feel guilty about their own feelings, or frustrated in their inability to help you.

In the cemetery, I see people who come to visit the grave of their loved one. Occasionally, they come with a daughter, a sister or a spouse. Sometimes, I see frustration among family members. They expect support and help from their children, siblings or spouses, however, I can see that each person is hurting, and may not be able to help themselves or anyone else.

During times of grief, our feelings can overwhelm us and prevent us from reasoning and communicating properly about our feelings. Talk to your family about your feelings, or, invite them to attend a grief support group with you. Sometimes it’s hard not to get upset with the lack of support that you are getting from your family. Remember, you are not alone in this, and sometimes this is a good reason to look outside of your family for help in getting through the grieving process.