Archive for the Category ◊ Memorial Service ◊

• Wednesday, June 09th, 2010

If you have experienced the death of a loved one, please seek help from one or several of these sources. Many of the people that attend Fairhaven’s grief support group, also attend others. You can also contract Mariposacenter.org for more information about support groups in Orange County.

Mariposa Women and Family Center
812 W. Town and Country Rd.
Orange, CA 92868
Contact: Mike Meador
(Bereavement Director)
(714)547-6494 ext. 329
Email: mmeador@mariposacenter.org
Website: www.mariposacenter.org

Aliso Viejo
VITAS Innovative Hospice Care
Coast Hills Community Church
5 Pursuit
Aliso Viejo, CA 92656
Contact: Sandie Moore
(949)362-0079 (Church)
(949)496-1597 (Home)
Contact: Linda McMahon
(Bereavement Services Manager)
(714)734-2753
- Grief Recovery
An action program for moving beyond loss
Class format, handbook, group discussions
8-week sessions

Anaheim
Parents of Murdered Children, Inc.
Zion Lutheran Church
222 N. East Street
Anaheim, CA 92805
(714)999-7132
Website: www.gocpomc.org
- Adult Survivors of Homicide Victims Group
For family & friends of those who have
died by violence

VITAS Innovative Hospice Care
Knott Avenue Christian Church
315 S. Knott Ave.
Anaheim, CA 92804
(714)527-5195
Contact: Linda McMahon
(Bereavement Services Manager)
(714)734-2753
- Grief Share

Anaheim Hills
VITAS Innovative Hospice Care
San Antonio Catholic Church
5800 E. Santa Ana Canyon Rd.
Anaheim Hills, CA 92807
Contact: Barbara Jou-Jan Roche
(714)281-1721
Website: www.sanantonioparish.org
Contact: Linda McMahon
(Bereavement Services Manager)
(714)734-2753
- Adult Bereavement Group

Brea
Kids Konnected
Brea Community Center
695 Madison Ave., Meeting Room H
Brea, CA 92821
Contact: Justine Palacios
Valene Corcoran (Director of Development)
(949)582-5443
(800)899-2866
Email: info@kidskonnected.org
Website: www.kidskonnected.org
- Children’s Support Group

Costa Mesa
Costa Mesa Senior Center
695 W. 19th St.
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
(949)645-2356
- “Transitions Program”
Group addresses issues of loss of a loved one,
health problems, loneliness, isolation, depression
and decrease in independence.
Senior Support Group
“We don’t grieve, we achieve!”

Kids Konnected
OC Susan G. Komen for the Cure Office
3191-A Airport Loop Drive
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
Contact: Justine Palacios
Valene Corcoran (Director of Development)
(949)582-5443
(800)899-2866
Email: info@kidskonnected.org
Website: www.kidskonnected.org
- Children’s Support Group

VITAS Innovative Hospice Care
Jewish Family Services Office
250 E. Baker, Suite C
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
(714)445-4950
Contact: Linda McMahon
(Bereavement Services Manager)
(714)734-2753
- Bereavement Support Group

Fairhaven
Fairhaven Support Group
Fairhaven Memorial Park & Mortuary
Waverley Gallery
1702 Fairhaven Ave.
Santa Ana, CA 92705
Contact: Carol Sexton or Ruth Velez
(714)633-1442
- Loss of a Loved One
Second Thursday of the month at 2:00
Open to the community

Fullerton
Compassionate Friends
Grace Bible Chapel
1119 S. Lambert Dr.
Fullerton, CA 92833
Contact: Roy Redman
(714)993-6708
Website: www.thecompassionatefriendsoc.com
- Loss of a Child
For parents, grandparents, siblings (over 14 yrs. old)

Open to the community
Please call prior to attending 1st meeting
No fee

First Evangelical Church
2801 N. Brea Blvd., Bldg. B-207
Fullerton, CA 92835
Contact: Bob Lawther
(714)990-2287 (Home)
(714)529-5544 (Church)
- Bereavement Support Group
For men & women of all ages
Group has a religious component

Fullerton Senior Center
(Co-sponsored by:
VITAS Innovative Hospice Care)
340 W. Commonwealth Ave.
Fullerton, CA 92832
Contact to pre-register: Vicki
(714)738-6305
Contact: Linda McMahon
(Bereavement Services Manager)
(714)734-2753
- Bereavement Support Group
Bereavement Support Group

St. Jude Community Services
Conference Room
130 W. Bastanchury
Fullerton, CA 92835
(800)870-7537 – option 2
Contact: Karyl Dupee
(714)446-7035
- “Healing Hearts After Loss”

No fee – $2 donation accepted
Registration required

Garden Grove
Crystal Cathedral
12141 Lewis St.
Garden Grove, CA 92840
*Go in Chapman Ave. gate
Take an immediate right
Contact: Linda Moore
(714)750-9237
-
 New Hope Hotline:
(714)639-4673
 Teen Line:
(714)639-8336
Open to the community
No fee
Odysey Hospice
7077 Orangewood St., Suite 201
Garden Grove, CA 92841
(714)934-4520
(800)797-2686
Contact: Gary Tucker (Bereavement Coordinator)
Email: gtucker@odsyhealth.com
- Death of a Loved One (adults)

Huntington Beach
Heartland Hospice
St. Peters by the Sea Presbyterian Church
16931 Bolsa Chica
Huntington Beach, CA 92649
Contact: Chris Strutt
(714)558-2366
Email: cameron_cs1@yahoo.com
- Adult Bereavement Group
Faith-based group

St. Bonaventure Church
16400 Springdale St.
Huntington Beach, CA 92649
Contact: Sister Annunciata
(714)846-3359
- General Bereavement Support Group
Located in: Teacher’s Lounge

St. Simon & St. Jude Catholic Parish
20444 Magnolia St.
Huntington Beach, CA 92646
Contact: Maureen O’Day
(714)962-3333 ext. 236
- Support Group for Widows & Widowers
8-week session
Located in: Multi-Purpose Room
Pre-registration is required
Call for schedule

Irvine
Compassionate Friends
Rancho Senior Center
3 Sandberg Way
Irvine, CA
(949)552-2800
- Loss of a Child
1st Wednesday 7:00-9:00pm

Jewish Family Services of Orange County
1 Federation Way, Suite 220
Irvine, CA 92603
(949)435-3460
(714)445-4950
- General Bereavement Support Group
Every Monday 2:00-3:30pm
Pre-registration is required

Lakeview Senior Center
20 Lake Road
Irvine, CA 92604
Contact: Judy Denton
(949)724-6924
- “Living with the Loss of a Spouse”

Mariner’s Church
5001 Newport Coast Drive
Irvine, CA 92603
Contact: Carol Collins (for dates & times)
(949)723-7890
Website: www.marinerschurch.org

VITAS Innovative Hospice Care
220 Commerce, Suite 100 (VITAS office)
Irvine, CA 92602
Contact: Linda McMahon (for dates of next series)
(714)734-2753
- “Grief 101”
For those whose loved ones have died within the past 12 weeks
- “Missing Our Mothers”
For adult women who recently experienced the death of their mother
Saturday morning workshop, 8:30-12:00pm
Follow-up session 4 weeks later – Saturday morning 9:00-11:00am

Laguna Beach
Laguna Presbyterian Church
415 Forest Ave.
Laguna Beach, CA 92651
Contact: Jackie Pearson, LMFT
(949)494-7555
- Growing Through Grief
Location: Parlor

South Coast Medical Center
31872 Pacific Coast Highway
Laguna Beach, CA 92651
(949)499-7133
- General Bereavement Support Group

Laguna Hills
Saddleback Memorial Hospital
24551 Health Center Dr.
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
Contact: Joan Way
(949)598-3941
- General Bereavement Support Group

Chandra Chaikin, MS, LMFT
- Living For Today: Grief and Loss Group For Seniors
Tired of feeling alone? Do you feel like life has lost its
spark? Come share your wisdom and experience
with others.
24953 Paseo De Valencia
Suite 24-B
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
(714) 404-2802
E-mail: info@ChandraChaikin.com

Laguna Niguel
Art & Creativity for Healing
26079 Getty Drive
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
(949)367-1902
Website: www.art4healing.org
- Bereavement 4-week Workshop Series
For those dealing with the loss of a
loved one
• Children Workshop series – 2009
Adult Fee: $135 (includes art materials)

St. Timothy Catholic Church
29102 Crown Valley Parkway
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
Contact: Sally Hotchkiss (for dates & times)
(949)249-4096
- Grief & Loss
8-week Group

Laguna Woods
Temple Judea
24512 Moulton Parkway
Laguna Woods, CA 92637
Contact: Cally Clein
(949)830-0470
- General Bereavement Group

Lake Forest
Saddleback Church
1 Saddleback Parkway
Lake Forest, CA 92630
Contact: Elaine Quickle
(949)609-8392
(Call for start of next 13-week session)
- Grief Support Workshop
13-week session
Group has a religious component

Santiago de Compostela Catholic Church
21682 Lake Forest Dr.
Lake Forest, CA 92630
Contact: Mary
(949)380-7520
- “Good Grief Group”
Support for men & women who are grieving over
the death of a spouse, child, parent, relative, or friend
Location: Parish Hall
Open-ended
Non-denominational

Los Alamitos
Cancer Support Foundation
Los Alamitos Community Center
10911 Oak St.
Los Alamitos, CA 90720
Contact: Connie Fike
(562)799-3131
Email: cancerfoundation@aol.com
- Bereavement Support Group
8-week series

Los Alamitos Community Center
10911 Oak St.
Los Alamitos, CA 90720
(562)594-9977
- Spouse Bereavement Group
Three 8-week sessions a year
Sponsored by the Cancer Support
Foundation of Los Alamitos

Mission Viejo
Gary’s Place for Kids
Mission Hospital Conference Center
26726 Crown Valley Parkway
Mission Viejo, CA 92694
(949)348-0548
Website: www.gpfkoc.org
Grief support for children ages 3-18 who have experienced
the death of a loved one & for their parents/other significant
adults in their lives.
- Children’s Grief Support Group
For “Littles” (ages 3-8 years) &
“Middles” (ages 9-12 years)
Teen Grief Support Group
Ages 13-18 years
Adult Group
All groups meet during the months of September through June
Open to the community
No fee

Kids Konnected
Mission Hospital Conference Center
26726 Crown Valley Pkwy
Mission Viejo, CA 92694
Contact: Justine Palacios
Valene Corcoran (Director of Development)
(949)582-5443
(800)899-2866
Email: info@kidskonnected.org
Website: www.kidskonnected.org
- Children’s Support Group
2nd Monday 6:30-8:00pm

Mission Hospital Regional Medical Center
27700 Medical Center Rd.
Mission Viejo, CA 92691
(949)364-1400
Contact: Sandy Fant
Email: sandy.fant@stjoe.org
- “Living Life Again”
Adult Bereavement Group
10-week session
3 times per year
Registration is required

Presbyterian Church of the Master
25051 Marguerite Parkway
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Contact: Karen Carson
(949)768-7652
(Call for dates & times of next group)
- Grief Recovery

Newport Beach
Hoag Hospital
1 Hoag Dr.
Newport Beach, CA 92663
Contact: Maxine
(949)764-8358
- Email: PerinatalLoss@hoaghospital.org
-
St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church
600 St. Andrews Road
Newport Beach, CA 92663
Contact: Betty Adkinson
(949)673-5725
(Call for future dates & times)
- Growing in Christ Through Grief
6-week session
up has a religious component
Optional $15 materials fee

Orange
Guide for Infant Survival (GIS)
For anyone who has lost a child to
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
Contact: Barbara Estep
(949)474-8417
(Call for times & locations – parents take turns
hosting the group meetings)
Website: www.gisoc.org

Kids Konnected
Cordelia Knott Center for Wellness
230 South Main Street, Suite 100
Orange, CA 92868
Contact: Justine Palacios
Valene Corcoran (Director of Development)
(949)582-5443
(800)899-2866
Email: info@kidskonnected.org
Website: www.kidskonnected.org
- Children’s Support Group

Mariposa Women and Family Center
812 W. Town and Country Rd.
Orange, CA 92868
Contact: Mike Meador
(Bereavement Director)
(714)547-6494 ext. 329
Email: mmeador@mariposacenter.org
Website: www.mariposacenter.org

Orange Senior Center
170 S. Olive Street
Orange, CA 92866
(714)538-9633
- Moving On
For older people who have lost a spouse

St. Joseph’s Hospice
1100 West Stewart Drive
Orange, CA 92868
Contact: Janyce Lawson
(714)712-7129
Email: janyce.lawson@stjoe.org
- Adult Bereavement Group
Ages 18 and older
- Adult Bereavement Group
Ages 18 and older

Placentia
Family Support Network
181 W. Orangethorpe Ave. Suite D
Placentia, CA 92870
(714)854-7762
- Parent-to-Parent Mentors
Parents grieving the loss of a child
Usually over the phone – can be in person

Hospice Care of California
377 E. Chapman Ave.
Placentia, CA 92870
Suite 280
Contact: Rose Allen
(bereavement coordinator)
(714)577-9656
(800)889-3227
Email: Ruth Dooley
rdooley@hospicecareofca.org
Website: www.hospicecareofca.org
- Adult Bereavement Group
The Wellness Community
109 West Torrance Blvd.
Placentia, CA
(310)376-3550
Email: info@wellnessandcancer.org
- Family Transition Group
For those who’s loved one has just died
from cancer

San Clemente
San Clemente Presbyterian Church
119 N. Avenida de la Estrella
San Clemente, CA 92672
Contact: Konni Martin
(949)361-1228
- Grief Support Group
Location: Fireside Room

Santa Ana
New Hope Grief Support
Calvary Chapel
1530 W. 17th St.
Santa Ana, CA 92706
Contact: Nikki Conkings
(562)421-9374
Email: info@newhopegrief.org
Website: www.newhopegrief.org
- Adult Grief Group
8-week series
Call for start date of series

Tustin
Cranbrook Senior Living
1262 Bryan Avenue
Tustin, CA 92780
Contact: Sonia Rodriguez, MSW
(714)870-3530
- Grief Support Group

Heartland Hospice
Trinity United Presbyterian Church
13922 Prospect Ave.
Tustin, CA 92705
Contact: Chris Strutt
(714)558-2366
Email: cameron_cs1@yahoo.com
- Adult Bereavement Group
Faith-based group

Tustin Senior Center
200 South “C” Street
Tustin, CA 92780
Contact: Vanessa Osborne
(714)573-3347
- Journey of Grief Support Group
Co-sponsored by St. Joseph Hospital
- Individual Grief Counseling
One-on-one counseling session
Must make an appointment

Yorba Linda
St. Martin De Porres Church
19791 Yorba Linda Blvd.
Yorba Linda, CA 92886
Contact: Mary Sennott
(714)777-2266
(Call for times)
- Grief Support Group

  • Share/Bookmark
• Friday, January 22nd, 2010

by Marla J. Noel

“I didn’t want to go to a grief support group,” a young lady who lost her husband in a car accident admits to the group.
“You know, I didn’t want to go either,” this time from a dignified woman in her sixties, who had lost her husband several years ago.
The rest of the group is quiet, yet they are all nodding their heads, as if in agreement. All of the group seems glad to be part of the group. They all share, and they all get an affirmation of their feelings.

I am confused by the fear or avoidance of a grief support group, however. I hear these types of comments so frequently. Why would you not ask for help? Most groups are either free or some nominal dollar amount. So what is the reason? I started to think about all of the reasons I have heard from people to avoid this type of help;
I didn’t want other people to see me cry.
I did not want to be reminded of my feelings, because it hurt too much.
I thought I should be able to figure this out on my own.
My family will help me to get through this.
I will get over this eventually
There are probably many other reasons for not going to a grief support group. However, I look at these reasons and my heart goes out to all of the people not getting help for their grief. There is no cure, no magic solution or any words that will make the pain stop. However, there are people out there who will listen to your story, share their story, and help you through a difficult time with their support and caring. So, I will give my arguments to all of those reasons I listed for why you would not go to a grief support group.

1) It is okay for people to see you cry. They will probably be crying also. Sometimes, there is nothing better than to have a good cry with someone else who understands.
2) Suppressing your feelings can be very harmful to your health, and can keep you from going through the grief process, which is a natural process for all of us. Acknowledging your feelings, and expressing them can be helpful.
3) I thought I should be able to figure this out on my own. If we broke our leg, we would go to a doctor. Why shouldn’t we seek help when our heart is broken?
4) My family will help me to get through this. Sometimes your family is trying to get through their own grief, and can’t help you. It is not their fault. Grief is a difficult emotion, and can affect us in many different ways.
5) I will get over this eventually. Sometimes we never do, for many reasons. While I have been at Fairhaven, I have received many unusual calls. I will never forget a call from a young lady who’s mother died seven years before this phone call. She wanted to be sure that there was a marker on her mother’s grave. She had been unable to visit the cemetery for all of those years. I wanted to help her with her grief, however, she did not seem to be reaching out to help herself.

So many people minimize the impact that grief can have on our lives. It is a very powerful emotion. The closer you were to the person you’ve lost, the greater the impact. There are usually so many wonderful people who can help you. Reach out, and grab a hand. Go to a grief support group. There are so many to pick from. If one is wrong for you, try another. You may meet some nice people, as well. Ask for help. You will be glad you did.

  • Share/Bookmark
• Thursday, December 31st, 2009

by Marla J. Noel

I received this from a friend, who recently had a difficult experience with a friend who had not planned for her death, although she had been ill. Please think about this list, even if you are healthy and young, and spend some time putting together your Green Box. You can update this box every few years. This is written for the business owner in mind. You can adjust to your own circumstances:

The Green Box with 25 envelopes. Here are the labels on the envelopes:

Letter to spouse
Letter to each child
Letter to the employees
Letter to my mother/father
List of most important 5 employeesco-workers
Off balance sheet deals
Organizational Chart and future organizational chart
List of personal and business people that should be contacted in the event of passing
Strategy that I am thinking about but haven’t told anybody about
List of Trusted Advisors and their roles (may or may not be currently working with company) such as attorney, accountant, etc.
Instructions not addressed in Will
Copies of POA documents
Copy of Passport, Birth Certificate
Copy of all credit cards
Copy of physical property titles
Personal stock portfolio information
Details of Life insurance—personal and company owned
Details of all other insurance
Copies of personal property valuations (Jewelry, guns, collectables, etc.)
Computer passwords (Very Important)
Personal financial Statement
Extra passport photos- Picture you would like used for funeral or marker
Medical/Dental Charts
Funeral/Burial Instructions
Mementos and to whom you’d like them given

  • Share/Bookmark
• Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

by Ian Crockett
Following graduation from college, rather than take a cushy advertising job in Downtown LA, I decided I would run away and join the circus. In the early 80’s there was a traveling circus headquartered in Southern California that featured several hundred performers, over 100 animals and a tent larger than a football field that would accommodate 5,000 people per performance.
When I first interviewed for the position of marketing director, which was a fancy name for Promoter or Advance Man, they indicated it would be highly unusual to hire someone married due to the ten and half months of travel required. My reply was you haven’t met my wife, so for the next three years we traveled around the United States in a black cargo van that had nice carpeting and paneling, but only two seats. We would rent furnished apartments or stay in motels with kitchenettes and lived in 35 different cities for one month at a time. Many friends and plenty of strangers said we were crazy and that one of us would put the other in a pine box. Instead it created a bond and a unique friendship that many couples never achieve.
Following that three year adventure, I landed a job in the world of advertising. The company, which I ended up purchasing ten years later, had clients nationwide. In my efforts to service them and build the agency’s clientele and reputation, I have logged over six million frequent flyer miles with over three million on American Airlines alone. For a couple that was joined at the hip for three years, being separated was excruciatingly painful. The same friends, but different strangers said it would ruin the marriage and tear apart that special bond they had seen with the two of us. Instead it brought us even closer together and made us cherish every second we spent together.
Three years ago, she became an ordained minister. During the reception an old friend gave her a congratulatory hug and pain shot through her body that originated from her stomach. After visiting the doctor, it was determined she had a pulled muscle and physical therapy was prescribed. However prior to one visit with the therapist, her blood pressure was over 200. They quickly rushed her to the hospital and placed her in the cardiac unit thinking she was having a heart attack. Several days later after a battery of tests, the new diagnosis was cancer.
Our first visit to the oncologist was on a Monday and we were relieved to hear it was treatable. Her first chemotherapy treatment was the next day and everything was looking up. That night, which was actually Wednesday morning, she awoke up in so much pain; I rushed her back to the hospital. Over the next two days, more tests were conducted and by Friday she was released to home hospice. Two months later my best friend for the last 32 years died.
I’m a business owner and a college professor. My circus years taught me how to put on spectacular events and my enormous amount of traveling has taught me to think on my feet. However I was the most unqualified person in the world to figure out what to do next. I knew she wanted to be cremated and I wanted to have an event that celebrated her life and let the world know how much she meant to me. Even though I had taken the two months off to be the one to care for her, I had not planned ahead or even thought of what goes into a memorial service. I just knew Fairhaven Memorial Services would be my mortuary of choice.
Fairhaven’s South Orange County management team will always have a special place in my heart. They actually came themselves to take the body away. They sat with me and patiently went through the order of service. They came up with ideas such as a memorial booklet that all guests would receive that included a poem that seemed as if it were written for her and the obituary I had written myself. We had pictures of us and ones that included our daughters and granddaughter enlarged, a picture video of her life accompanied by four songs I selected including Stevie Wonder’s I Just Called To Say I Love You, which is what I used to say each day when I called in from the road and a number of other items commemorating her time on earth.
The Fairhaven people didn’t know her, but helped create a day she could have orchestrated herself. Friends flew in from around the country, my employees and vendors volunteered to help bring to life the terrific Fairhaven ideas and suggestions and it was all done in less than a week. During her ordination, she told everyone that one day she would fill the church. On that day it was filled to capacity with people standing in the doorways. As I said in my previous blog, memorial services are for the living. This one accomplished all my objectives and would have had my wife’s approval. I thank Fairhaven Memorial Services for helping make the living present that day make the hole in their heart a tiny bit smaller and feel a little better about the incredible loss they all suffered.

  • Share/Bookmark
• Friday, November 20th, 2009

by Marla J. Noel

I appreciate what Ian Crockett wrote in his posting for this blog. In old postings, I have shared with you my funeral wishes. What I haven’t shared is something that was very painful for me; an experience which helped me realize the importance of funerals.
When I came to California in my early twenties, I moved in with my Grandmother in Leisure World. This was clearly against Leisure World rules. My Grandmother was very nervous that she would be evicted for having some under-aged person living with her. However, I could tell that my Grandmother enjoyed my company. I had grown up so far away from her; this was a great way to get to know her. We talked about her childhood in Montana, what her parents were like, and what her life had been like as a mother of two. We got to know each other fairly quickly and I learned that Grandma and I shared a sweet tooth. I made sure that we were always stocked with root beer and ice cream for root beer floats, my Grandmother’s favorite. She appreciated our mobility and avoided giving me too hard a time about my driving. I am sure that I gave her more than one scare, when rounding a corner on two wheels. I lived with Grandmother for about six months. We had a good time getting to know each other, and I saw a great deal of my mother in my Grandmother.
As my Grandmother aged, my uncle moved her from her own condo to an assisted living home, where she lived her last few years. She was still close enough for me to visit her regularly and take her out for a root beer float or a piece of pie. When I got the call that Grandmother had died, I remember not being able to cry. I was sad, and a part of me did not believe she was dead. There was no service. My family didn’t do services. Services aren’t practical. Too much fuss, wasn’t what she wanted.
On a bright sunny day, three months later, I looked into the sky and saw a white fluffy cloud float in front of the sun. It looked as though the cloud had a lining. I thought of my Grandmother, and began to cry. I wasn’t alone. I was with some friends on a weekend doing something fun. My crying was not at all appropriate, was very unexpected, and I couldn’t help myself. I can tear up, just thinking about this time in my life. This may be one of those losses I haven’t processed very well. I guess, in retrospect, it is a loss that I haven’t processed. My Grandmother died more than 18 years ago. Now, when I talk to my parents about their service, they say the same thing, not practical, too much fuss, too much bother. I remind them that the service is not for them, but for all of us that they left behind. Then my mother starts to cry.

  • Share/Bookmark